Sunday, December 24, 2006

I Said Too Much Again

There should probably be a sign around my neck declaring:


because it’s true; I do frequently act on impulse. I sometimes regret it, but often I don’t, so I’ve never found it to be a major problem. I was thinking about this earlier today and that sort of led to the conclusion that we should all come with the warning labels they put on electrical equipment, sharp instruments, and heavy objects.

Mine would say:

WARNING! Will argue with a brick wall for the sake of arguing for fun. Thinks too much. Frequently over-analyzes. Makes rash decisions (when she makes decisions at all). Finds second chances hard to give. Loves deeply. Cries at great movies, sweet cards, sappy commercials, and certain songs. Is a music snob. Has trouble with fear, sadness, and stress; usually expresses all of these through angry outbursts. Revises emails at least three times before sending them. Cannot be rushed. Acts on impulse. Spends too much money. Curses on Mondays. Is loyal to a fault. Struggles with her pride. Is a cheap drunk. Would rather makeout than cuddle (57% of the time). Always stops at making out. Is not afraid to be brutally honest. Drops the F-bomb when very upset. Loves PDA. Rarely lets people in. Is protective of the people who make it. Frequently burns food. Is usually late. Doesn’t always return calls. Occasionally finds (most) routine social situations awkward. Is forgetful. Has good intentions. Is possibly too independent. Lacks a sense of direction. Sometimes forgets to filter thoughts before shooting them out of her mouth. Can’t stand depending on anyone. Has trouble expressing her feelings. Has abandonment issues. And trust issues. Tends to keep feelings bottled up. Is a reformed commitment-phobe. (Maybe.) Is a good judge of character. Loves kids. Is indecisive. Sometimes embarasses her friends in public. Means well.

It would save us all a lot of trouble if we could just size up potential friends immediately. We wouldn’t have to wait six months to see how the friendship will develop or if it will develop at all. We’d just know right away if we were compatible. And if it we aren’t, okay, so what? No time wasted, no love lost. Just keep on moving until you find someone who is.

I originally was going somewhere deep with this, but I’ve forgotten now exactly where I was headed. Maybe it’ll come to me. While I’m thinking, you be thinking, too. What would your label say?

Edited (01/01/2011): I want to point out that this was written during a very dramatic phase in college. I can't bring myself to delete it, because I so vividly remember being that girl.